Beloved

"First Model"
Courtesy of Timothy Schildknecht - Visual Artistry and Magic.
Copyright Starfire Media Productions 2009 - all rights reserved.

BELOVED...

Your love brings me strength.

Your example brings me hope.

Your heart brings me courage.

Your arms bring me comfort.

Your eyes bring me light.

Your voice brings me peace.

Your touch brings me passion.

Your life brings me faith.

Your companionship brings me joy.

In the end, your soul delivers me eternity.

Today is my six year wedding anniversary.

What a joy and journey!

I can hold no one in higher light and esteem than my dear wife Jennifer. She has stood by me through so much opposition and pain, and she does so as a willing servant of a higher power.

The word that best describes her is "Love". She will say that she does not have enough. I site that as an example of her second greatest quality... "Humility".

We fell in love in the fall of 2003 after a passionate and intense online romance. She proposed to me on February 29, 2004. I accepted, but I have to admit that I would have asked her to marry me if it had not been a leap year. She arranged for the most beautiful yellow lilies to accompany her proposal. These images are vividly printed in my memory.

This lovely woman and her lovely ways are burned deeply into me, and now make up a huge part of who I am. She represents all that is good, true, and worthy in me.

Jennifer... Thanks to you I will never the same.

I will never be able to repay your amazing sacrifice.

Thank You Love.

Motherhood - An Experience In Loving And Being Loved

Motherhood - "A seed of limitless potential which when nurtured...

blossoms in colors unimaginable... with benefits beyond comprehension"

Mother' Day 2010 is soon to be.

I am not ready for it.

I have often wished that Mother's Day was held on the day of ones birth. A combined affair where the event celebrates the birth of a new being, and the transformation of another.

These celebrations would big like Easter, Thanksgiving, or Christmas, and have a spiritual tone rather than a secular one. The original event of our birth was a very spiritual one. A soul expanding, unifying connection, that unleashed a flood of emotion that, in reflection still holds it's original enchantment and surrealism. These events would be held several times a year, corresponding to the number of births a Mother has experienced. I would not label these celebrations as Mother's Day or Birthday. They would rather be called Love Day, for it is memorializing the first day of loving and being loved.

Lets face it. We were not born with a concept of love. We learned it from our Mothers. We nursed, cried, messed, slept, got sick and then well again, all because our Mother first loved us. As we got older all the hugs, kisses, and snuggles from Mother brought us warm feelings that we enjoyed experiencing. We found that giving hugs, kisses, and snuggles to others also felt good. We may not have understood why these actions created emotions in us, or what these emotions meant, but we would label them as love and continue to grow from there.

As we grew together, Mother would (without any thought or expectation for repayment), express her love for us through her ongoing sacrifice. Sacrifice was a condition that was occurring right from the beginning, starting with morning sickness, emotional disorientation, physical discomfort, cramping, the issuing of blood and water, overwhelming pain, and relentless fatigue. That was your beginning, and now with time, maturity, and understanding, you came to see that her hugs, kisses, and snuggles, may have reassured us, but it was in the sacrifices that she laboured on your behalf that her true love lived and grew.

We emulate what we experience, and when we couple our behaviors with an understanding what they mean, we begin to thrive. Her love for us taught us to love others. Love is what is most important, and is the true measure of greatness in an individual.

Are Mothers perfect? Of course not. But I believe that the concept of Motherhood is perfect, and that all mothers who struggle to do their best in delivering hugs, kisses, snuggles, wiping dirty faces, driving to and experiencing recitals, games and doctors appointments, and issuing forth blood sweat and tears, makes the world much better place than it otherwise would be, and a simple one day a year commemoration celebrating Motherhood seems completely inadequate in comparison to their accomplishments and sacrifice.

Thank You ...Mother.
Thank You... Wife.
Thank You... Mother of Our Children.

RULES... HUH!!!, What Are They Good Foor? Absolutely Nothing.

Wishcast Wednesday for May 5, 2010.

What Rules Do You Wish to Make or Break?

Rules – Rules – Rules – Rules – RULES… and more rules.

That’s all we ever hear about, complain about, and experience.

If a rule blocks our way to self-expression, self-gratification, self-promotion, or any other items needed in our self-realization or self-preservation, we label it a nuisance, and feel frustrated and angry over it.

However… if a rule protects us, our rights, privileges, and dignities, we welcome it with wide-open arms, and praise it as virtuous and noble.

These represent two ends of a proverbial spectrum, with the remaining 98%* of rules, regulations, and red tape, creating a great gray fog that seems illogical, and pointless to even navigate.

(* This number may vary depending on which side of the bi-polar pendulum I am swinging from).

Why?

We live in a society that has proven time and again to be selfish, protectionist, greedy, politically correct, and power hungry. Rules supporting these attitudes are used as tools to create and sustain these ugly and oppressive conditions.

Remember the last time you had to be placed on hold at some call center (located in India, or some other place where the person answering the phone has listed English is their second language), to argue a problem over fees on your bank statement, charge card, medical bill, or tax assessment. What did they say when they finally reconnected? It probably went something like this… “I’m sorry, but corporate/government policy clearly states that… dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. and our… blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, has to… this that and the other, so you must do… this, this, this, this, and this, to avoid… that, that, that, that, and that. Thank you for calling (insert name here). I hope you have a nice day”.

Sounds like fodder to keep the shareholders fat and happy. Picture them all lined up at the same trough?

I wish to take a moment to apologize to my blog readers, for my negative approach to this blog subject. It is not a ZEN day for me, and so today’s entry is my… therapy. It's what I utilize to keep off of pharmaceuticals. LOL.

If I take a moment now to come back to rational and unemotional thinking, truth dictates that some rules and regulations are needed and necessary in… maintaining public health and safety, protecting personal and property rights, defining acceptable societal boundaries, and drawing the line between lawful and unlawful conduct.

Generally, I have no problems with these rules, so long as fairness, and… good, solid, and sound, judgment is applied. Balance coupled with common sense, properly applied, is the only rule to be considered while “making all other rules”, and will in the end place everyone on equal footing, and introduce fairness and justice for all.

My wish for this Wishcast Wednesday is… to only have rules that will support the needs of growth and development in self and others, and dismantle all rules used as tools to control, manipulate, subdue, and restrict, the body and spirit.

Other blog entries that tie into this week’s theme are…

Saying “No” to Unfairness and Greed

and…

Dare to Believe – Balance

Things Worth The Investment

“Anything worthy of investment, must be

anchored in faith, and valued above

it's required effort and resources”

"Investing In The Future”

Courtesy of Timothy Schildknecht - Visual Artistry and Magic.
Copyright Starfire Media Productions 2009 - all rights reserved.

Wishcasting Wednesday for April 28, 2010

What do you wish to invest in?

Investment is a wonderful tool where one merges creativity with belief and vision; the resources of time, mental energy, physical effort, and/or money (or the things that money can buy); on objectives that hold greater value and deeper significance than the effort and resources required in achieving them. It’s a trade many consider to be “a sacrifice of ones current conditions and circumstances, for a better more favorable set of conditions and circumstances”.

There are things found in this world that are worthy of investment and... things unworthy. It all depends on where you want to arrive. Some think that the pursuit of money is a worthy investment, while others think an education is. Still others may seek fame or power. None of these goals can be achieved overnight. These investments require a sacrifice of time, effort, and other resources.

My definition of a worthy investment is one where the journey involved takes the participants to a better place and to higher understanding, with the ideal investment leaving something behind that future generations can benefit from. A “Legacy”.

A legacy will always start with “Self” and expand outward from there. This is not meant to be selfish, but is the required foundation for all outward expressions to be built upon.

I have a list of items that I consider worthy of investment, and hold genuine opportunities of building a lasting legacy.

They are…

Self… and the building of ones character, understanding, knowledge, creativity, and other valued physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual assets.

Others… and the support of their own “Self” building experience with the strongest focus being upon children.

Earth… and the easing of our own personal footprint on the planet. Preservation of Earth’s rich and diverse environments, and the wise and responsible use of her offerings.

Universe… and a refined understanding of her mechanisms, and our place and function within her.

I am not looking for a street, building, or park, to be named after me. Nor am I craving notoriety in any other way. What I do want to leave, as my lasting legacy, is inspiration through my creative achievements, and example through my quiet living, which others would value and want to emulate in their own lives.

These are the reasons for which I wish to invest, and in the end create the most lasting and valued legacy of all.

Dare To Believe - Balance

“Balance”

Courtesy of Timothy Schildknecht - Visual Artistry and Magic.
Copyright Starfire Media Productions 2009 - all rights reserved.

Wishcasting Wednesday for April 21, 2010 – What do you wish to dare?

Dare To “BELIEVE”!

For many people manic depression is a daily reality, a reality that I also share.

I choose to view this reality as both a blessing and a curse. It is both, the shades of gray that define the boundaries of my existence, and the colorful rainbow that blows these boundaries into oblivion.

For many people that have manic depression, they would rather experience life without it. I on the other hand welcome it, even embrace it, as part of the path leading me to a higher understanding of self, and a richer, deeper wealth of life experiences.

Imagine having both the locks and chains that bind ones existence, and all the keys needed to unlock these chains, all conveniently packaged in one place, that place being “SELF”.

I know that there is, and in fact must needs be, opposites in all things. Without it there would be imbalance in the universe, and the universe would cease to exist. Yin must balance yang. Justice must be tempered by mercy. Goodness must repair evil. And so on and so forth. FOREVER!!!

If you ever had the chance of knowing a manic depressive person, and spent any length of time getting to know them, you would find a person who really understands opposites.

I often find myself on both sides of an issue, and although I may believe that one side may be right, favorable, logical, or appropriate, I also understand the feelings generated by the wrong, unfavorable, illogical, and inappropriate. Two sides are found on every coin, but it takes both sides to make up that “single” coin.

The person I call self, is daily engaged in a personal internal struggle. A moment-by-moment, blow-by-blow, battle that in the end balances everything out at zero. The process is extremely taxing at times, but it has created the wonderful opportunity for me to… soar as high into joy, peace, hope, faith, and happiness, as I do… sink into despair, disharmony, fear, doubt, and sorrow.

My journey is not for everyone.

I do realize that my reality also creates an environment that is very undesirable for my wife, and all others, who know me well, and have chosen to have an emotional connection with me. I do feel for these people, and the consequences that they shoulder because of the love they hold for me. My heart does suffer for these consequences, but it is also overjoyed to witness such acts of compassion and love!

In getting to my “Wish to Dare” I walk a constant tightrope of… believing in myself, my talents and my abilities, and fear that… I have no talent or ability, and that I walk through life as a complete and utter fraud.

Remember the coin?

Well in this case my wish cast is to dare that “heads” will prevail… and that my belief in self will rise to a beautiful and complete manifestation of beauty, creativity, and worth. And through this manifestation, I’ll give back to all who have suffered through my choices… a compensation for their broken hearts. In the end I wish to dare that… every word, every deed, every emotion, and every consequence, will bring my life and the lives of others, back into perfect, unmistakable, and universal…

Balance.

A Thing Worth Accomplishing

IPhone photo.
The first motorcycle. A 1996 Yamaha Virago 750.

IPhone photo.

The second motorcycle. A 1988 Honda Shadow 600.

Today's entry will be short because I have things I wish to accomplish.

The main thing I have a need to accomplish is to purchase another mode of transportation, in this case a motorcycle. My family is currently a one vehicle family and it is creating a great deal of stress and forcing us to schedule more tightly.

I have not had much luck attracting a good deal or decent product, but I feel good that it will happen, (I'm believing sometime today).

There is meaning to the journey, and strength to the search. In the end there will also be purpose to the exercise and blessing in the experience.

Thanks to all who add their own blessing to my effort.

UPDATE - April 8, 2010.

Well it happened, but with a twist. And it all took place within a week.

The day of my original posting I found a beat up 1996 Yamaha Virago 750 to purchase. I bought it at a low price and turned around and sold it at a higher price. This placed me into a position to purchase a second higher priced and more desirable bike. It was a 1988 Honda Shadow 600 in showroom condition. The Shadow was also found the very day that I purchased the Virago, but at that time it was out of my reach financially speaking.

The extra step of buying and selling the first bike made the purchase of the second bike possible.

All the elements came together, when divine providence came into play, and the prayerful intention of others aimed their wishes at the same target I was aiming for.

A special thanks I extend all who added their intention to mine.

The Four Dimensions

"Innocence"
Courtesy of Timothy Schildknecht - Visual Artistry and Magic.
Copyright Starfire Media Productions 2009 - all rights reserved.

Wishcasting Wednesday: March 24 - What do you wish to take a break from?

By being kept busy… in my waking hours - through the gathering, filtering, and processing, of sensory impulses captured through sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell, and… in my sleeping hours - with the work of dreams and nightmares, reviewing, twisting, distorting, trashing and rehashing a lifetime of experiences through processes of the sub-conscious, and then… by bundling up all the truths, perceptions, and distortions introduced through both of these seemingly conflicting processes, and… acting upon or reacting to them, developing and growing from them, or rejecting, failing, and falling because of them, I end up becoming… limited, stagnant, and somewhat two-dimensional as a human being.

One of these dimensions is made up by everything I experience in my physical environment. The other dimension is made up of everything I feel in my emotional environment. These two aspects of my person, continuously battle for top spot, one being logical, and the other being ego-driven.

Right now I could say that I am a 47-year-old son, brother, husband, father, step-father, provider, photographer, artist, adventurer, explorer, traveler, lover, servant, student, teacher, leader, follower, and… any other label that makes up the umbrella of identity (or ego) I’ve made for myself.

One can exist in this two-dimensional condition, but not truly thrive.

There is also a third dimension available to most people. It is a spiritual environment, and is based on absolute truth. Please do not confuse absolute truth (simply defined as a universal set of seen or unseen realities that apply to every man, woman, and child), and religion (simply defined as a custom made set of seen or unseen illusions, made by man to settle his or her own conscience or support his or her own ego). I have limited exposure to a spiritual environment, this because my spiritual tuning is off station, this due in part to past mistakes (both malicious and accidental) as well as other broken and dysfunctional aspects of my life. Therefore I do not feel qualified or credible to comment on spiritual elements at this juncture of my life. All I will say is that a spiritual environment is intuitive, peaceful, originates from the metaphorical heart, and completely obliterates ego when it’s present, active, and recognized.

A fourth dimension is available to everyone, and is responsible for creating an environment conducive to building our imagination and inspiring our creativity. We get to travel through this dimension (as an observer) every time we surrender our senses (first dimension) and emotions (second dimension) to truly inspiring works of literary, musical, performance or visual art. We get to pilot through this dimension (as a creator) every time we are inspired (third dimension) to imagine and create an expression of literary, musical, performance, or visual art.

I would love to take a break from the hustle and bustle of the demands of my everyday life and all the things that keep me trapped and floating around in the mire of my two dimensional existence. I would then reacquaint myself with my lost spirituality, and… delve deeply into a rich feast of imagination, and a profound manifestation of my own creativity and intent.